6 Comments

  1. I love this post. There are unending decisions when you have a child. For me, I’m now asking ‘when do we do night potty training?’, ‘is an all boys school the right thing to do?’, ‘should we sign J up for a fun second language class?’, etc etc.

    There are three things I’ve kept in mind when making choices and decisions.

    1. Do all the things with love.

    2. Do my research so I feel I have some rationale basis for my choice.

    3. Once I’ve made a choice, own that choice and don’t waste energy and time wondering if I’ve done the right thing. If that choice doesn’t work, course correct and then move forward.

    Of course it doesn’t always work like this – sometimes emotion trumps rational thinking!

  2. I was actually having theses thoughts the other day, when I was stressing about my daughters nap. Is she stopping it? Does she need it? Is it too long? Too short? And I thought “I should know this stuff, she’s my THIRD!” So, I guess from that you’d say it doesn’t get easier, but I’m not sure that’s true. I still feel deskilled by my kids, but not by how others are doing things. That gets easier. I have a definite idea and confidence on how I want to parent. The nuts and bolts decisions still get me though.

    • Oh god, I’m having those same questions right now as Theo sometimes doesn’t want a second nap and it stresses me out so much. Is he dropping it? Or not? Does he actually need it if he misses it? I am so disappointed to hear that I’ll be asking myself all those same questions again if we have another one. I thought I’d just know all the answers next time around… :/

  3. Ugh, it’s awful, isn’t it? There are decisions we made which we are sure about (basically the opposite to yours!) but we’ve agonised about plenty of other things and we’ve done complete about turns on a couple of things. Then I get paranoid, if I make the slightest comment to people who do things differently, that it sounds like an attack. I get paranoid, if I defend my choices, that I sound like a neurotically over-protective mother. We’re all so full of doubt. But I genuinely believe that different babies have different needs – just because something works for my daughter doesn’t mean it works for your son; part of parenting is knowing your own child best, isn’t it?

    • Definitely! Part of this was brought in by visiting my sister-in-law, who was asking for advice on all sorts. I gave her our experiences as well as I remembered, but had to say that most of the time, you have to figure stuff out on your own, because what worked with Theo might not work at all for her little one. We’ll have to see what happens if we ever have another one!

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